Sunday, July 12, 2015

Yin Yang

Standing on 400 years old cobbled road gets less of an importance every time I wait for her. My heart was beating so fast that it might just come out of my rib cage and start dancing. I could see my breath, temperature should have been close to zero and I was sweating in this cold. There was a sharp crispiness in the air, fresh yet hurting ones chest while breathing. Road was wet from last nights snow. In the midst of grey walls, grey sky and grey streets I saw her walking towards me. Moment I saw her my heart just skipped a beat.
She was wearing a bright pink jacket, an off-white floral scarf round her neck and white hat on her head and all this on a black jeans with shoes.
She greeted me with a peck on my lips and I said, You look very beautiful. Most of her Vaseline was now on my lips, she started talking, meanwhile I was getting used to the excess Vaseline on my lips.
We started walking towards the city center, imagining we would end up at a coffee shop. I could see her breath while she was talking, her lips were getting dry because of the cold, after every ten minutes she would put her hand in her jacket pocket to get a chap stick out to replenish her pink lips. I looked at her while her brown eyes travelled the length of her lips and back. We reached a junction and whilst crossing the road I held her hand. I tried feeling her palm through her gloves, it was warm, warmer than mine. We careered our way into a small alley, there were many trees in that small alley which had shed its leaves, although without any leaves it still looked beautiful.
We have been seeing each other for a while, but except for being exclusive with each other we never talked about our "relationship". I was ready to take the next step today in our "relationship" and I gathered that she was ready too, so asked her to meet this early in the morning but I was afraid to ask or even steer the conversation in that direction.
She repeatedly asked me, if there is something bothering me, she could see, I was nervous. I was distracted, in my head I was thinking, what if she says, she just wants things as it is, there is no need to take the next step now, or, maybe she's not ready for it at all, I don't know, it was confusing.
I was just making things worse in my head. Even before considering to ask her to move in with me, it's a huge step for both of us. For me, because I am an Indian, Indian men don't live with women who are not related together under the same roof unless married although times are changing, so, I was ready for it at least that's what I think I am. I was almost ready to give up on my bachelor pad and paint my walls pink. Big sacrifice! will it be worth it? I seriously have no clue but when I look at her all this seems like petty things against to the time I have spent with her. I was madly in love with her, ... there, I said it! I am ready, so, I said, You see, these trees with no leaves, they all stay together, shed leaves together and when spring comes all leaves come back. In all seasons these trees support each other and weather this nasty cold together, year on year. She looked at me puzzled, I continued, Just like these trees, who stay with each other throughout the time unless someone knocks them down, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Her eye brows narrowed, and I again continued, Before you say anything, I love you and no matter what your reply is I will continue to love you, now with that out of the way, would you like to move in with me? Would you be my Yin to my Yang?

There was a pause and I saw tears rolling down her eyes and she replied, I love you too and yes I would like to move in with you. We hugged and kissed under those naked, exposed trees. I held her very tight, so tight that I can still feel the warmth of her being there with me.

I opened my eyes and I saw a white ceiling, tubes going out of my nose, I felt very weak as if I had aged. I tried to get up but I couldn't. I looked around, there was a little kid playing on his phone and started smiling at me. He exclaimed, grandpa is up. Grandpa???

Unknown people started surrounding me, but the face I was looking for wasn't there. What is going on? I was anxious, so, I asked, who are you, why am I here. They kept repeating, can you remember your name, I said, what rubbish is this? Of course, I know who I am, I am..., I am.., I can't remember, who I am,...? I got paranoid and started yelling, this is insane, I don't know who I am!?
If I don't know who I am, who was that girl? What was her name? Was it a dream? I can't remember. I can't differentiate whats real and what's a dream. I was tumbling down the rabbit hole and I couldn't help myself.
I yelled so hard that I started kicking. I repeatedly kicked and every time I kicked there was a feeling of someone's getting hurt but I couldn't see who was getting hurt. So, I kicked harder, I was finding it difficult to breath, I had to get out of here so, I kept kicking but in vain and then suddenly there was a flow of water as if a dam was broken.

12 hours later, I was born!

The day I was born was the same day my grandpa passed away - Coincidence? Maybe.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

In Pursuit of Happiness

After a brief period of time, I always ask myself "Are you happy, Richard"? Usually the answer is Meh :/ can do better
I have always been a man with a plan although not necessarily not all my plans work. Some work to make me a better person in the society and some don't to teach me a lesson about humility.
So far this year of 2014 has been very complicated and complex at the personal front. At one end where old relations have rekindled for the better whereas on the other hand I have lost the sense of happiness to be with someone. There are so many conflicting views that at times it feels like there can be a volcanic eruption from the top of my head. When I was at such a juncture, I had to go down to London for a short meeting, stay overnight and come back to Aberdeen next morning. It was a sweet deal and I definitely needed some change from my routine. I hoped on to my cab and went to the airport to catch my flight. Soon after the meeting, I found myself behaving like an Aristocrat, tasting wines and having some deep conversation about the taste and texture of the wine, whether its a one leggy or the other.
An hour later I was in a pub enjoying a pint of lager with my fellow colleagues, cracking jokes, greeting those whom I haven't met for ages. Just to catch a breath I stepped outside and saw this...

I was happy, happy for the simple fact that I was a part of the city not so long ago and I still cherish those moments. This is me who travelled, worked hard day in and day out. Made my blood and sweat count for the place where I stood and clicked this picture. There was a sense of ownership, liberation and pride of achieving something that couldn't have been dreamt by a boy who knew nothing about this world.

After feeling so happy and proud of myself one of my favourite colleague/brother took us to another nearby pub. This was no local pub, just to get inside this pub on a weekday one would have to pay £5 and indeed I did. The ambience was just like any English pub but with a small difference there were too many good looking men and women practising Salsa. Now, those who know me, know how bad I am at dancing of any form. Although I have won a dance competition long back in school but that doesn't count when you're about to put yourself through something so intimate and equally awkward.

I took the cue from my colleague who happens to be Asian and a brother from another Mother who yelled at me in Hindi "Unless you try you'll never get it" (both women and dance). I set myself adrift and yes, I did ask a total stranger to dance with me, to my surprise she said yes and we danced! It was 

My hands were numb and I was sweating profusely which was visible on my forehead but what kept me going was fear. The fear of rejection, it sounds strange and negative but it actually helped me to come through. It was one of the best night out I ever had. It was the sheer joy of being able to see others enjoying something else other than drinks.

The night got over and I was up for my return journey. I was sitting in a restaurant of the Heathrow airport Terminal 5 looking over the beautiful Orange Sunrise where me and my colleague started talking about families and how his kids are growing up and the changes that happens when you go from a Single man to a Married man. Mind you, I get to hear a lot of these talks, because I am most of the times the youngest person in any team who doesn't live with his Girlfriend/Wife/Partner. However, out of all the things that we talked about there is one thing that I want to leave you with tonight which also touched my heart. He mentioned, how kids these days feel awkward in kissing their parents in public, sometimes they don't even want them to be dropped in the school instead they would like to be dropped a street before the school. I leaned forward and was listening carefully, he continued, "I have a father, I don't care what the world thinks of me, but when I go out with him I like to catch his hand and walk on the streets. I like to show my love and respect to him by kissing him, by saying Thank you for everything he did for me in all the possible way he could do or afford. People on the street might smirk at me but he is not their father, he is mine and I have the full right to display my affection"
It was not even 48 hours before I asked myself the question and here I was about to ask myself it again, "Are you happy, Richard"? I didn't have an answer until I reached Aberdeen and got a moment for myself, I called my Parents to say how much I love them and said Thank You for everything! It's the simplest things in life which actually gives one the utmost peace and happiness and not to my surprise it always begins with Family.
In the midst of all this materialistic things we always forget what's the most important thing in life is, it's not a plush apartment or the latest Jag, it's definitely not your Apple iPhone 6 or your Rolex watch. It's the most important people in your life because of whom your sheer existence rely on!

Monday, March 17, 2014

Aberdeen - Day 2

Following my last post, I was waiting for some good weather up here in Aberdeen. It would be sunny during the weekdays where you're a caged animal in your office and cloudy - overcast during weekends, bad enough to make you a grouchy rabbit :P 
However, today luckily we got some good weather and I was out of my flat within moments after waking up. 
I have tried to capture as much as possible and put as little effects on these pictures that you're about to see. Enjoy the beautiful, Sunny and marvelous Aberdeen!

The town that I admire!

Resting after a morning jog on a hill top

Oil & Gas is never off duty ;)

New Library - University of Aberdeen, my Alma mater

Water seeping across the wooden planks

The strongest and the Unbreakable bond

Sand Art

Surfers at work

Everyone deserves an Ice Cream cone/ Dad at work ;)

Hmmm.. Which cafe?

Even alone, am Awesome!

Dogs - Best friends forever

Until death set us apart 

Walk the talk

After a good walk of almost 5.5 kms this morning, I walked towards the Golf - Driving range where I met my Golf buddies.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Aberdeen woods - Day 1

I have heard lot of people complain about this city but for some reason I have liked this city more compared to other cities that I have lived in. It's supposedly the Oil hub for the whole of Europe but doesn't have the opulence of Middle East or the Flamboyance of Houston, Texas.
To be honest, I should be thankful to my brother who suggested me to study here. It's not only given me an exposure to the world but also has made me the man today I am!
The calmness and the tranquility that this city offers with the busy hectic life is a blend that no other city can match it. It's hard to choose between the maximum city and this one. However, you don't choose between your parents. Do you?
;) :)

                                                                                                    To be continued . . .